hotel room ftw
wrigley field is MILF paradise
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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