i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
