then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
