using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
