Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
