Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
