remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
