I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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