Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
