Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
