it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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