and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
