Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
