we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hippo gnu deer
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
