Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
