They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
