she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
