why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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