I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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