He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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