Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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