..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
