I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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