I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I want her autograph on my taint
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
