So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
