let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
