i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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