So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it hurts more in the daytime
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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