I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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