Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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