Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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