The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
