I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
