Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
