so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
