operation harelip BJ is a go
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize