Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
