I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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