Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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