you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
