The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
