"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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