well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize