She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
