just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
