please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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