I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
