Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He passed out mid-signature
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
