Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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