i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
