Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your penis caused this!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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