We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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