You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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