i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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