yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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