drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
