just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
