I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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