Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just tell him i said nine months
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
