I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
