I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
