after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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