u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
