So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
