yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
