So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
