i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
