God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
