I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
