It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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